Musings

I don’t think pineapples want to be eaten. Just look at them.

Do ghosts wear clothes?

Does the existence of almond milk imply that almonds have utters?

Creativity = Curiosity + Courage

Ever wonder what spicy milk would taste like?

Talking trash is way less fun than talking about trash.

If you’re going to do something stupid, at least be smart about it.

Contrary to popular belief, there is actually no such thing as “clear skin.” ‘Cause that would be weird.

Hyperbole is the single, absolute, most overused writing technique of all time. Ever. Period.

Understatement is okay, I guess.

Caffeine solves a lot of problems.

I think they should also throw bouquets at funerals.

There is a very fine line between being able to read and being able to memorize words.

The best word in the English language is “because”. Not sure why, though.

If you do it right, getting lost in thought is just as good as taking a vacation.

I’ve somehow managed to make a profession out of rebellion.

Developing a healthy disdain for one’s profession is possibly the most effective way to learn how to improve it.

When your nose gets super runny, it’s like a waterfall of snot, or snotterfall^®.

If you play it in the summer, it’s called water hockey.

Cereal is a soup.

If there’s already an ESPN Classic, why isn’t there C-SPAN Classic?

Defining success is simple. Who’d you make smile today?